End the Silence Campaign

End the Silence is a campaign that aims to destroy the silence surrounding sexual violence. It gives survivors of sexual assault a voice, by enabling them to share their emotions and thoughts - through stories, art, and poetry on their experiences, trauma and healing. The stories are confronting and powerful. They can be uplifting, but also triggering. Please take care of yourself by ensuring you are in a safe place and with someone who cares about you while you read these stories. You can learn more and join the campaign here:

http://www.endthesilencecampaign.org/about-2/

I'm relieved and  so glad that survivors can speak out about their trauma. Abuse grows from silence. We need to speak out to end it. Please add your voice to help end abuse. Problems shared can be halved, especially when you share them with people who have experienced what you have been through.

Recognising abuse, dealing with abusive people

Co-Dependents Anonymous holds group meetings to enable people to leave co-dependent and abusive relationships. The Co-dependents' Anonymous website is here:

http://joy2meu.com/CoDA_Meetings.htm

I strongly recommend that everyone read this - Emotional Dynamics of Dysfunctional and Abusive Relationships:

http://www.silcom.com/~joy2meu/Dynamics.htm 

The main website has articles on how to have healthy relationships, and avoid abusive ones: http://www.silcom.com/~joy2meu/index.html

This website is an eye opener. It lists the differences between healthy loving relationships (between family, friends, or partners), and co-dependent, abusive ones. Abuse can be emotional and psychological, not just physical. If you are in an abusive relationship, please speak to someone close to you who cares, or to a counsellor. If you are in a life threatening situation, call the police. Please don't give up if someone rejects what you are saying. Keep on talking until you find people who are willing to help you. You are not alone in this. There is help out there. You deserve to have relationships that are safe, equal, and free of abuse. 

Dealing with narcissictic personality disordered people, gaslighting

Everybody, please read these for your own safety:

Definition of gaslighting (a very common form of emotional abuse. Sadly, not everyone is aware that it is abuse or that it exists): http://www.abuserecovery.yolasite.com/gaslighting.php

Find out whatNarcissistic personality Disorder is here: http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery.f2.t63

Here are tips on dealing with people with Narcissistic Personality (NP) Disorder, and emotionally abusive and controlling people: http://www.abuserecovery.yolasite.com/tips-and-traps.php This page has tips on how to deal with them regarding child custody, attending court and co-parenting. There is also advice from survivors of NP abusers on handling suicide threats, stalking and protecting your job. There are colleagues and bosses with NP, and this site has information on how to handle them.

I want everyone who is stopping by on this lj to consider reading these, because gaslighting is very common, but many victims are unaware of it. NP people can be found anywhere, and can even be very successful and popular,despite the misery they bring to other people. Psychological abuse, manipulation, mind games and power games are not trivial - they are extremely serious. They can lead to depression, poor health - as well as losing your family, friends, livelihood and belongings. Abuse by NPs and gaslighting could be happening to you or your loved ones, so please spread this information around.

Communcating persuasively and ethically

Here are some persuasion/negotiation tips from the wonderful ChangingMinds.org:

Avoid floppy language if you want to persuade people: http://changingminds.org/techniques/language/modifying_meaning/floppy_language.htm

Communicate assertively, so that you respect yourself and others. Learn more about this here: http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/assertiveness.htm

Give criticism in a specific and constructive manner (criticise the behaviour, not the person. Ask what they can do to change the situation / avoid future mistakes): http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/giving_criticism.htm

Receive criticism well, but don't over-apologise: http://changingminds.org/techniques/assertiveness/recieving_criticism.htm

Interruption can be necessary. Learn when to interrupt, and how you can interrupt politely (it can be done, belive me!) http://changingminds.org/techniques/conversation/interrupting/interrupting.htm

Learn the do's and don't of negotiating here: http://changingminds.org/disciplines/negotiation/negotiation.htm

I'd love to receive feedback, as long as it's constructive and respectful. Feel free to add any more links related to negotiation, resolving conflict and assertiveness. Let me know what you think! :)